Fermented Mango Vomit

When a ferment recipe says to leave a gap at the top of the jar, they don't mean a half a centimetre gap.

It's incredibly humid here so I thought I would ferment a thing or ten while I can get them done quickly. I've been making watermelon and its rind, cucumbers with cumin seeds and cloves (I only discovered the taste of cloves the other night on a Christmas party ham, and I'm still trying to work out how to cook with them), asparagus and radish, and I also made some mango ferments.

Just one mango for now. I sliced him up, slid his cheeks into my French jam jars (there's something I never thought I'd say), added some water and starter from my watermelon syrupy almost-alcohol, and left him there while I had breakfast.

Come the next morning and I came to see if he was ready. His lid was tight so I knew he needed a breath of air so I naively picked him up and unscrewed his lid. PHRFRRFRAAAAGHGHH. I think that's about how it went. It was not a fizzzz, it was not a pop!, it was not a bubble bubble rising rising bubble aaaaand overflooooooww..., it was a full on vomit of mango gunk.

Despite the appealing imagery, I licked my sticky fingers covered in goo. The goo was delicious. Still sweet. I probably should've kept it going another day but it was just so sweet and just enough tang to make it taste fermented and I didn't want it to become alcoholic too... so I rinsed him and popped him in the fridge.

I took the other one and brought him over the sink. I very slowly twisted it half a degree and let out some air. Once it had stopped fizzing I cracked it open a teensy bit more. And again. And again. My fingers were slippery from rinsing them from spew so I grabbed a towel to twist a little bit more. I twisted a little and then I realised I'd gone too far.

PHRFRRFRAAAAGHGHH.

Vomit-covered tea towel.

Rinsed them off and put the mango in the fridge, only to be taken out half an hour later as a non-jam, non-chutney, some type of fruity topping for my zucchini pancake (I've been having a lot of those lately, with carrot too).

Fermented Mango

Mango

Water

Starter or a previous batch of fermented fruit or vegetables, optional

Cut up, scoop out, fork out, mash up, or squeeze the mango flesh out of the skin and off the stone. Squeezing the stone helps :) Keep any squares/scoops a uniform size.

Add the mango to a jar that's at least twice as large as the amount of mango that will fit in it, or divide the mango into separate jars.

Add 1 - 3 tbsps starter or liquid/brine from a previous ferment, then fill with water until all the mango is covered.

Add the lid and set aside for 1 - 4 days on the counter, burping when needed.

Banana Pudding from frozen bananas

I've been eating stacks of bananas lately. They've just been a high carb breakfast dessert and they go well with the chocolate recipe that hardens when it hits something cold. My excuse is that my stress levels are very, very high and I need carbs to bring them back down, the coconut oil for my saturated fats, and the cacao (I haven't been too naughty with my chocolate and having cocoa) for the magnesium. Magnesium for sleep, carbs for sleep, and yet I woke up twice this morning, both times when it was still far to early to function.

You know what else is fantastic for sleep? Gelatin. Instead of the thick slabs of steak or any other muscle meat high in inflammatory tryptophan, gelatin has anti-inflammatory glycine, which, in short, helps you get to sleep faster.

So I added some lovely gelatin into my life and into my breakfast dessert (a girl's gotta eat :) ). Now the question is: why the hell am I eating foods that promote sleep when I've just woken up??

The reason I've used frozen bananas is due to what I have on hand. Remember that humongous box/branch of 121 bananas I got at the beginning of the year? Well, we're nearly through them all. Nearly. And so that is where the bananas are from. Fun fact: did you know that bananas are meant to have seeds in them? I've seen pictures of it; it looks like an absolute pain to eat around.

Also. I may have made a mistake in my recipe when I made it. You see, I was following Fast Paleo's banana pudding (I don't think hyperlinks work on my phone, so here's their recipe http://fastpaleo.com/recipe/roasted-banana-gelatin-pudding/ ) they had coconut milk. It's just that I've had previous experiences of poor gelatin measurement, and so when I think I've made a trayful of jellies, what I've really made is an accident waiting to happen. I'd reach up and confidently slide the mini patty pan tray out of the top shelf of the fridge, thinking that all the goop would be gelatinified enough to stay intact, and a flood of goop would cascade down, liberally coating my top and the floor, as well as some of the fridge insides. This has happened on more than one occasion, mind you. I didn't want to make the mistake again (weak gelatin foods are REALLY sticky and gross). But my recipe turned out to have far too much gelatin, so I've scaled down in the recipe.

PS. That has honey on top, it didn't leak.

Banana Pudding from frozen bananas

3 bananas, peeled, halved and frozen

1 1/2 tbsp gelatin powder

2 tbsps hot water, optional

cinnamon, to taste

Take the nanas out of the freezer and chop them into chunks. It's easier than it sounds. If you want them roasted, sprinkle the cinnamon on now and pop them in an oven for 20 mins or until you can smell them. Mmm... If not, leave them out on the bench for about half an hour, or until they're pretty much thawed out.

If you haven't cooked the bananas, dissolve the gelatin in some hot water, and add as much water as needed until the gelatin is all dissolved.

Pop your soggy bananas, cooked or not, in a blender. As cinnamon if you didn't before, or if you want more. If your bananas are cooked, add the gelatin now. Purée on low until all the mixture had conglomerated and has come together to make one big happy breakfast dessert family.

Pour into moulds, or mugs, or thimbles if that's your thing. Refrigerate for 2 hours or until set.

Sweet Potato Souffle

It was one of those mornings where you don't want to get up for an hour.

So I didn't.

This brekkie (or meal for any time, really) is perfect for one of these types of mornings, ie, when you have time for it to cook but you're not bothered to physically do much. It's really simple and you could do it with your eyes closed - which is the state you're in to start with!

I based this recipe on a brekkie I tried one day. It was meant to be 'warm sardine and sweet potato dip' but the temp was put up too high for it to just 'warm up' so it turned into a souffle! Sardines have never tasted better! But the cucumber I was meant to use as the dip-holder tasted really boring in comparison. Anyway...

Grab your prebaked sweet potato and mash it up in an ovenproof ramekin or bowl.

Whisk an egg and mix it in. If you're feelin' fancy, dust in some cinnamon too.

In the same fancy manner, smooth out the top and pop it into a preheated oven and go back to bed for half an hour after all your hard work.

I tried to make some roasted macadamias to go with it...

and ignoring the fact that it's unstable and expensive I roasted them in macadamia oil. Like goes with like, right?

But... um... I spent too long doing nothing while waiting for my souffle to cook.

I put a little maple syrup on top of the souffle when it had about 7 - 10 mins left, but it didn't make all that much difference.

Take the souffle out of the oven and go back to bed for another ten minutes. It's hot. Believe me. And it's going to stay hot for a while.

Top with whatever you fancy. I spooned on a bit of kefir and tried some of my little bombs of burnt nuttiness.

NB. I only called it a souffle because it rose. Don't assume it's puffy and airy and doesn't weigh a thing. Take a scoop and see how almost puddingy it is!

Sweet Potato Souffle

Serves 1

1 1/3 cups baked sweet potato

1 egg

cinnamon (optional)

maple syrup (optional)

something creamy like yoghurt, kefir, double cream or coconut butter (or ice cream?!), for serving

Preheat the oven to 180 degrees.

Mash the sweet potato in an ovenproof bowl.

In a separate bowl, whisk the egg, then add to the sweet potato.

Mix until combined, and add cinnamon and/or maple syrup if using.

Place the bowl in the oven and bake for 20 - 30 mins, or until a skewer comes out clean.

Serve with creamy topping.

This might be better with coconut flour to make it less dense, and maybe some baking powder to fluff it up. And maybe some baking paper too...

Carrot Cupcakes

I made up a batch of carrot cakes to get me through prelims. There was a heap left so I made a bigger cake out of it. And writing this now, I've realised that I completely forgot to add the dates... Oh well.

Five years ago, I asked mum once for a carrot cake for lunch (back when I had no idea what 'health' was) and for probably the rest of the year, I'd always get a not-too-fluffy, not-too-dense carrot cupcake with maybe not enough nuts and a load of sugary cream cheese icing. I only wanted a batch of them.

So after so many lunches of getting utterly bored of orange cake and becoming sickened by the cloyingly sweet and creamy icing (I can still remember it...) I gave up on the humble carrot cake. I haven't had one in five years after all the trauma I had from the monotonous lunches.

But I wanted to make a cake today and we had a bag of carrots in the fridge, ready to start being more bad than good, so carrot cakes it was. And mum got mini cupcake tins, so my cupcakes HAD to be little. I didn't care if it ended up being little crumbles of carrot shreds and macadamias.

http://paleomg.com/carrot-cake-donuts/ 

On another note, I didn't create this recipe, so I'll pop LIBK's recipe here and say that I substituted the nut butter with regular cow butter (because you can never have too much butter) and put in some roughly chopped macadamias, fresh ginger and finely dessicated coconut (which didn't add to the flavour at all). And I lined the big baking tin with coconut oil, with the smear of my fingers. Oh, and I left out the dates, which I suggest you don't do. Not that they're awful, they're just not ultra sweet.

Marshmallows

I suppose I'm not going to model for the hair show in the June long weekend so I get to go camping again! Yay! So I've compiled my list of things I want to eat while I'm down there (forget that they're all going to make me fat), including marshmallows because that's just a given. We have a fireplace and we all toast marshmallows, so I decided to have a crack at making my own marshmallows because I don't want to eat the crap you get in the shop.

Following Mommypotamous' recipe, I made a half batch of fluffy sticky clouds of goodness. Basically, you mix a honey caramel with dissolved gelatine, beat it until it's fluffy, then let it sit overnight. It's a basic concept but it's not so basic seeing as you have to make a CARAMEL.

First, you dissolve the gelatine with the water. You'll wonder how the hell the hard gel goo is gonna result in something fluffy, but be prepared to be amazed.

Then you put water, flavour (I put vanilla), salt and a beehive of honey into a pot and 'keep on medium high heat until it reaches 240 degrees'. Big problem. a. My stove is ultra strong and it's really hard to tell what's medium and what's high and b. I haven't got a candy thermometer. So I put it on what would've been high heat and let it go. I knew it would take a while so I left for thirty seconds and...

When I came back, it had volcanoed and there was honey caramel all over the stove and everywhere! I turned the heat down but I had to keep turning it up for the caramel to do something.

So after vigorously stirring a pot of bubbling candy (I know, French chefs, sue me for touching my caramel) it eventually reached soft ball stage. I dropped a bit in cold water and it makes a soft little ball in your hand. And once I realised it was done, I think I overcooked it. The second before I took it off, it was fine, but when I stopped mixing it it took on a funny smell.

Regardless, I called James to help pour it into the funny gelatine stuff which would be easy enough for me to do by myself next time. I whipped it up, and that only took five minutes. Then it went into my prelined baking tin with some arrowroot on top. Next time that lining will be done so much better.

Then I had to lick everything clean, which was a lot of marshmallow cream. But I put the semi clean beaters and spatula and stuff in hot water for five minutes and it all dissolved. Urgh. Next time I know I don't have to clean it with my mouth.

And then you just let it sit for four hours. I cut it at four hours and the other half after overnight, and there wasn't too much difference in firmness. And I toasted a bit and it kinda melts. Oh well. I'll try toasting it when it gets older. James liked it, so guess who's making marshmallows more often? :)

Experiments - or Lots of Posts I've Put Off

For some reason I just don't get around to blogging about some things. I think I'm just a little overwhelmed with study. I've tried a few new things, so I thought instead of writing separate posts for them all, I could just put it all under one post and call it a day.

1. I tried brushing my teeth with charcoal. Activated charcoal, not wood from a fire, silly. I read up and found that it adsorbs all the tannins in your teeth, so I decided to give it a go. I took a 'during' photo to show you how pretty I look:
                                        
but the result was next to nothing. My theories are that my teeth are stained with something that isn't tannins, or I didn't do it right. After I read up on it a bit more or something, I'll try it again, because I really hate normal toothpaste.

2. I dragged dad out to Harris farm markets and make him buy a $12 spaghetti squash. I've idolised it ever since I saw it on the internet, but I'd never been able to get it. So when I found it I battered my puppy dog eyes and got what I wanted :)
                                           

Shannon's Date in a Blankie

On Wednesday, we're going on camp for three days, two nights for school (I'm perfectly fine with the whole 'camping' thing, I'm just panicking a little over the food choices there) so tomorrow I'll be running around like crazy making sure everything is ready so I decided to post tonight to make up for it. I really hope I survive it, and get enough sleep! They said that lights out is 11pm so I think I'm going to be a little dead by the time I come back. Anyway, onto the recipe.

Last year, our Canadian friend, Shannon, stayed with us for a few weeks before going back home to Calgary (I sooo want to go there!) and before she left, she shared a recipe (well, it's more like an unrecipe) that she and her friends love back home. And when she made a batch of these for us, it's no wonder you can't eat just one!