Fermented Mango Vomit

When a ferment recipe says to leave a gap at the top of the jar, they don't mean a half a centimetre gap.

It's incredibly humid here so I thought I would ferment a thing or ten while I can get them done quickly. I've been making watermelon and its rind, cucumbers with cumin seeds and cloves (I only discovered the taste of cloves the other night on a Christmas party ham, and I'm still trying to work out how to cook with them), asparagus and radish, and I also made some mango ferments.

Just one mango for now. I sliced him up, slid his cheeks into my French jam jars (there's something I never thought I'd say), added some water and starter from my watermelon syrupy almost-alcohol, and left him there while I had breakfast.

Come the next morning and I came to see if he was ready. His lid was tight so I knew he needed a breath of air so I naively picked him up and unscrewed his lid. PHRFRRFRAAAAGHGHH. I think that's about how it went. It was not a fizzzz, it was not a pop!, it was not a bubble bubble rising rising bubble aaaaand overflooooooww..., it was a full on vomit of mango gunk.

Despite the appealing imagery, I licked my sticky fingers covered in goo. The goo was delicious. Still sweet. I probably should've kept it going another day but it was just so sweet and just enough tang to make it taste fermented and I didn't want it to become alcoholic too... so I rinsed him and popped him in the fridge.

I took the other one and brought him over the sink. I very slowly twisted it half a degree and let out some air. Once it had stopped fizzing I cracked it open a teensy bit more. And again. And again. My fingers were slippery from rinsing them from spew so I grabbed a towel to twist a little bit more. I twisted a little and then I realised I'd gone too far.

PHRFRRFRAAAAGHGHH.

Vomit-covered tea towel.

Rinsed them off and put the mango in the fridge, only to be taken out half an hour later as a non-jam, non-chutney, some type of fruity topping for my zucchini pancake (I've been having a lot of those lately, with carrot too).

Fermented Mango

Mango

Water

Starter or a previous batch of fermented fruit or vegetables, optional

Cut up, scoop out, fork out, mash up, or squeeze the mango flesh out of the skin and off the stone. Squeezing the stone helps :) Keep any squares/scoops a uniform size.

Add the mango to a jar that's at least twice as large as the amount of mango that will fit in it, or divide the mango into separate jars.

Add 1 - 3 tbsps starter or liquid/brine from a previous ferment, then fill with water until all the mango is covered.

Add the lid and set aside for 1 - 4 days on the counter, burping when needed.

Fifth Day of Spring

Like I said, it's the fifth day of spring and I have gazillions of bacteria and other general lifey stuffs in my jars!

Yesterday they didn't look so promising so I was glad that some bubbly action was going on when I had a look at them this morning. That and the combined effect of pretty much neglecting them opening-wise for the jars that are hard to open and not pressing the weird carrot salad thingos down once they started floating. I actually have no hope in that one.

And I tried an orange from the bag that the orange segment ferments are from. They are the blandest and least tasting oranges I've ever tasted! (however, I must admit my orange tasting hasn't been challenged much) So I also don't expect much from those. I did put a pinch of sugarcane sugar in them, but that doesn't mean it'll actually work.

Anyway, enough about my gloomy bacteria that are set up for failure:

I popped into the physics class this afternoon, just for fun. And even though I did gather a partial headache which barely happens to me any more, it was actually FUN. Yes, I am saying that learning about how wavelengths are entertaining and enjoyable. I learnt a heap of random stuff I won't be able to use apart from cool party trick conversations ('Did you know that that star is mostly helium?'), mostly that the visible wavelengths (light) that a gaseous element emits when heated is unique to whatever that element is (for example, helium emits orange, green and blue wavelengths, because of how far electrons jump across electron shells), that the word 'assess' in an exam question means that you have to state one side and give reasons for it, and that the elements that make up a star can be shown in the aforementioned 'blueprint' each element had.

And we had a discussion about whether copying someone's exact molecules and locations of such and whatnot, and replicating them elsewhere, was moral or not and if that's the same person or not. I don't think it would be. I think there's other things in the human that we have absolutely no idea about. Like why living outdoors more is better than living in the exact same way, but inside and all artificial and stimulated. There's gotta be stuff that we're missing out on when we chemically replicate stuff. For example (I'm just throwing this one out there), if there's some chemical or hormone or SOMETHING in breast milk or exchanged between mother and daughter when breast feeding that we just don't know about yet, and we give our babies formula made of all the stuff we do know, they're not receiving all that unknown good (or bad) stuff, and thus not being as nicely developed as another in the same environment but with a boob in their face instead of a plastic piece of junk. 

Actually, come to think of it, why the hell do we use friken PLASTIC bottles to feed our babies??

Fermenting Time!

On the second day of spring, ... da da da da da da...

Three strawberry kvasses

Two orange juices

And a half jar of salty carrots!

Ok, so just ignore the fact that it doesn't fit...

I can't wait to sing On the fifth day of spring, ...da da da da da da....

FIVE TRILLION LACTOBACILLUS BACTERIA!

Four trillion yeasts

Three trillion other microorganisms

Two jars left

And a very very happy tum-my!

Oh, and that's a jar of sauerkraut that gave my babies their starter. It's like their mother (no pun intended).

Korea's Hidden Superfood Meal

I must admit, this isn't a traditional bibimbap in the very least. I just got excited because I found some good kimchi yesterday. Since 'bibimbap' means 'mixed rice', this is definitely not that, but I've got some Korean ingredients (or just Asian) and raw yolks. It's the same concept, right? I wouldn't be surprised if Koreans had the best digestive systems in all the land. This stuff is so acidic! (Well, my random version was).

From the top going clockwise I had some funny brined mushroom things, a whole cubes avocado with apple cider vinegar to stop it from oxidising (and there was a LOT of avo by the time I'd mixed it all in), kimchi hiding under everything else, far too much wakame for my liking (but it hid well in the kimchi vinegary sauce), scrambled egg whites (I had to make something look like rice), fish sauce in the dish at the top, md of course raw egg yolks. I so want to try a normal version with some sliced beef or raw fish and rice to sop up all the vinegar. I'll have to get my Korean friend to take me out one day :)

Assessmentless

Or rather, what I do when I procrastinate on a bit more of a sophisticated level when the assessments/exams I have aren't impending and looming behind me.

I grow, of course! I showed you my shallots on Monday, and look how much they've already grown in three days. How crazy are they?! I've also tried some dirty English spinach this morning from a terribly gritty breakfast (how traditional peeps had a pica habit for health I'll never know) and I just made a jar of cucumber because a. we have no pickles left b. my intestines... ahem... would like some pickles c. I didn't know how the hell I'd for the cucumbers into my non-cucumbers meals d. I wanted to experiment a little. So nothing's really certified 'sterile' but I'd really hope a knife, a jar and some cuckes will be pretty bacteria-free (for now), and I added white balsamic vinegar because I couldn't find white vinegar and the last batch of just brine was boring.

Now, back to work!