Fermented Mango Vomit

When a ferment recipe says to leave a gap at the top of the jar, they don't mean a half a centimetre gap.

It's incredibly humid here so I thought I would ferment a thing or ten while I can get them done quickly. I've been making watermelon and its rind, cucumbers with cumin seeds and cloves (I only discovered the taste of cloves the other night on a Christmas party ham, and I'm still trying to work out how to cook with them), asparagus and radish, and I also made some mango ferments.

Just one mango for now. I sliced him up, slid his cheeks into my French jam jars (there's something I never thought I'd say), added some water and starter from my watermelon syrupy almost-alcohol, and left him there while I had breakfast.

Come the next morning and I came to see if he was ready. His lid was tight so I knew he needed a breath of air so I naively picked him up and unscrewed his lid. PHRFRRFRAAAAGHGHH. I think that's about how it went. It was not a fizzzz, it was not a pop!, it was not a bubble bubble rising rising bubble aaaaand overflooooooww..., it was a full on vomit of mango gunk.

Despite the appealing imagery, I licked my sticky fingers covered in goo. The goo was delicious. Still sweet. I probably should've kept it going another day but it was just so sweet and just enough tang to make it taste fermented and I didn't want it to become alcoholic too... so I rinsed him and popped him in the fridge.

I took the other one and brought him over the sink. I very slowly twisted it half a degree and let out some air. Once it had stopped fizzing I cracked it open a teensy bit more. And again. And again. My fingers were slippery from rinsing them from spew so I grabbed a towel to twist a little bit more. I twisted a little and then I realised I'd gone too far.

PHRFRRFRAAAAGHGHH.

Vomit-covered tea towel.

Rinsed them off and put the mango in the fridge, only to be taken out half an hour later as a non-jam, non-chutney, some type of fruity topping for my zucchini pancake (I've been having a lot of those lately, with carrot too).

Fermented Mango

Mango

Water

Starter or a previous batch of fermented fruit or vegetables, optional

Cut up, scoop out, fork out, mash up, or squeeze the mango flesh out of the skin and off the stone. Squeezing the stone helps :) Keep any squares/scoops a uniform size.

Add the mango to a jar that's at least twice as large as the amount of mango that will fit in it, or divide the mango into separate jars.

Add 1 - 3 tbsps starter or liquid/brine from a previous ferment, then fill with water until all the mango is covered.

Add the lid and set aside for 1 - 4 days on the counter, burping when needed.

IF

I know it's not real healthy for someone who's underweight to IF (or fast at all for that matter), but I'd forgotten my lunch and I was going to the library at lunch to work anyway (and I've got a photoshoot on Sunday) so I thought that maybe I should just see how I go, and this way I wouldn't be too stressed about it.

IF (intermittent fasting) is a paleo concept where you fast for a period of time to let your body sorta catch up with what you've eaten, clear the digestive system a bit, and something to do with the muscles growing. I'm not quite sure. I haven't done much reading on it because I've been trying to eat as much as possible, but I'd read enough to know that you can fast healthily and that it's nothing to worry about if it's once in a blue moon like it is.

Simple Mango Smoothie

For the last two months or so, I’ve been starting to enjoy having smoothies with my breakfasts occasionally. They’re a quick combination of yummy fruit, lots of protein, nuts and even more nuts in the milk. I might also like them because of the fact that we have glasses that make them look kinda cafe-style. I have a few little mini stories about my two-month progression of smoothie-making and I thought that I could just collect them all and include them all here. So excuse the random jumping around here.

My favourite smoothie fruit is mango. I tried a banana smoothie once, but it was too.. gaggy for me. I think I’ll have more bananas in their whole form before I move onto having bananas in any mashed, mushed or squishy form. I’ve also tried pumpkin and that would have to be my second favourite. And orange just doesn’t work at all; it’s all watery and stuff and that doesn’t go well with the powder. I don’t think I’ve experimented with any other fruits... Does anyone have any ideas for other fruits/vegetables I could try?

It’s a little against my ideals, but I got myself a big bucket of protein powder a while ago and I’ve been popping a tablespoon of it into my smoothies. When I first got it, I couldn’t find a scoop so I assumed it didn’t have one, but I eventually dug down to it and when I found it, it was GIGANTIC! It would have to be at least two tablespoons! How does someone fit all that powder into a smoothie that is supposed to be runny and slurpable? That wasn’t going to happen. Also, the powder I’ve got is unflavoured so it’s not the most... amazing taste in the world. But after having a tablespoon of it nearly daily, I’ve gotten used to it and sometimes I kinda crave a smoothie just for the (overwhelming) taste of the powder. It’s kinda weird. I guess it’s like how I initially detested tahini and now I love it.

I entered a healthy chicken nugget competition some time ago and surprisingly I came a runner up! :D I was so excited that the people who were running it actually tried to make my funny nuggets that I think I was more excited about that than my actual prizes. One of prizes I got was a sample of super greens and reds so I tried it in my smoothie this morning instead of my protein powder and it smelled a bit spirulina-y before I tipped the little sachet in but it tasted great! Well, it didn’t exactly taste like anything; for once, I could taste the mango instead of any powder. It was a nice change from the protein powder, with all the organic vegetables, fruits and superfoods. I can’t say that I can feel any more energy or more vitalised or anything but it's got to be good for you.

I think it’s been two weeks now that I’ve improved the whole smoothie-making experience for myself. I used to own (actually, we still have it) a little tiny blender with a teeny baby 250ml cup thing to put the content in, and while I can actually control how much fruit I need to make a smoothie the right size (or else I’d make a batch for a small community), the stuff at the top wouldn’t be as blended as the stuff at the bottom so I came to liking the idea of a chunky smoothie. A couple of weeks ago, like I said, I upped the ante and I got a big 1.5L blender. I could not be more excited; I could finally have smooth smoothies! So of course now my smoothies are far too big to fit into one glass.

I think that covers all my little stories for now! I don’t even know how I have such a variety of things to talk about when it comes to smoothies, because I barely stray from this super-short ingredient list and I’ve barely had my share of smoothie time. So here’s the recipe to the one-and-only simple smoothie!

Simple Mango Smoothie

Serves 1

flesh from 1 big mango cheek plus all you can get off the stone

1 tbsp nut butter (I have almond, walnut or peanut butter)

1 tbsp protein powder

non-dairy milk (I use almond milk)

a couple of soaked almonds (optional)

Pop the first four ingredients in the blender in the order provided (I find it easiest this way, so that the nut butter or the powder doesn’t get caught up in the blade and do funny things) and when pouring the milk in, pour in about enough to cover three quarters of the content in there or enough to make it runny instead of a puree kind of thing. Pour into a pretty glass and sometimes I like to drop in a few soaked almonds :)

Sources:

http://www.ezyprotein.com.au/

http://naturalnewagemum.com/2012/11/22/kates-almond-crusted-chicken-nuggets-winner-of-the-great-homemade-chicken-nugget-competition/

https://nutraorganics.com.au/our-products/super-greens--reds